The Five Love Languages—Words of Affirmation

You may have heard of the five love languages. In general, you tend to give and receive in your personal love language. There is a quiz that you can take to figure out what your love language is. By doing this with your partner, you will be able to better show your love for each other.

One of these love languages is words of affirmation. This love language means that the person affirms others through their words. Let’s explore this love language in more depth!

What Are Words of Affirmation?

Affirming words confirm the truth in something that was said previously. For example, your partner knows that you love them. If their love language is words of affirmation, you might remind them of this statement often.

This love language essentially means that compliments are important to the person. This is how they want you to show your love for them, so be sure to try your best to do so.

How Can You Give Your Partner Words of Affirmation?  

If you’ve discovered that your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, you’re probably looking for good ways to act on it. As your relationship progresses, you will find more ways to speak these words to your partner. Until then, you might need some ideas.

Below, we’ve highlighted some of the most important times to speak words of affirmation into your partner’s life and how to do it.

Keep in mind that some of these may be generic, so you might need to alter them to meet you and your partner’s needs. Once you read through these examples, you should be able to come up with some others on your own!

Encouragement

If your partner is working on an important project or is getting worn down at work, your encouraging words can go a long way. Here are some phrases you might use:

  • I’m proud of you for working so hard this week.
  • I am really impressed that you were able to accomplish all of your goals for this month.
  • I know that you will do a great job on your presentation today.  

Appreciation

Your partner likely wants to know when you appreciate everything they do for you. Sharing your appreciation is a good way to let them know what means the most to you and that you notice their efforts. Here are a few ideas:

  • Thank you for always taking the time to make my coffee in the morning.
  • I appreciate you making an effort to cheer me up today.
  • I couldn’t have handled that issue at work without your encouragement.

Conclusion

In addition to using the above suggestions, you can ask your partner how they would like to be affirmed. They might have a particular compliment in mind that they truly appreciate from you and would love to hear more often.

You should remember to show all of the love languages to your partner instead of only their top love language. Though that one is the most meaningful to them, the other ones are still important and can keep a relationship strong!

10 (More) Conversation Starters For Long Term Relationships

As we’ve mentioned before, it can be common for people in long term relationships to run out of things to talk about after awhile. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but we’ve love to help you avoid another silent dinner.

Here are 10 more suggestions to spark conversations in those moments. We’ve written them here in question format, but most of them could also be brought up in a manner less reminiscent of an interview – for instance, you could start with your answer to the question and ask what they think or what their experience is.

  1. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
  2. Who do you think has been the biggest influence on who you are as a person?
  3. If you could broadcast a 30 second message to the whole world, what would it say?
  4. Would you want to live in the universe of [insert TV show you’re watching together here]? Who do you think you would be in that universe?
  5. If you could snap your fingers and change one thing about your job, what would it be?
  6. Is there a video or board game you wish existed? What is it like?
  7. What’s the best band you ever saw live?
  8. What restaurant/venue/attraction do you wish they’d bring to our area?
  9. What do you miss most about your hometown?
  10. What’s the coolest thing you’ve learned recently?

Of course, a new and exciting date night activity can also help make sure you don’t run out of things to talk about. Not sure what to do with your partner? We’ve got you covered!

3 Reasons to Volunteer With Your Partner

Have you ever considered volunteering with your partner? Perhaps at a local animal shelter, working with kids, or perhaps building houses? If you haven’t, it’s high time that you give it some thought. Not only is volunteering helpful to those around you, it’s also helpful to your relationship! Take a look at 3 reasons why volunteering with your partner is an excellent idea:

1. Giving back feels good!

We’ll start with the most obvious reason – giving back to the community is a great way to get that warm and fuzzy feeling we all love. Doing it with your partner? Even better! Volunteering with your partner is a great way to raise your mood and make some really fun memories together,

2. See one another in a new way.

Volunteering puts you and your partner into a context you’re probably not used to – a context where you’re working together, outside of doing chores around the home. Whether you’re building houses for the homeless or walking dogs at a shelter, it can be fun and interesting to see each other tackle whatever challenges come your way Plus, there’s a great opportunity to build your teamwork and communication skills.

3. It’s a recurring commitment to each other!

Yes, there are tons of one-off volunteering opportunities out there, but many organizations are looking for a 6-12 month commitment when you sign up. It may feel a little daunting to commit to that much time, but it has a ton of benefits, like having a recurring few hours away from home with your partner. If you think you’ve been spending a little too much time on the couch watching Netflix, this is a great way to commit to changing that habit. When a non-profit is depending on you, it’s a lot easier to convince yourself to get off the couch!

7 Post-It Love Note Prompts

Pretty much everyone agrees that love letters are romantic – but who has time to write them? And who even keeps nice stationary around the house anymore?

Never fear, post-it love notes are here! Post-it love notes are the perfect way to express yourself to your partner, while still hearkening back to the days of longer love letters. Write a few thoughts on a post-it note, and sprinkle them around the house before they get up or get home from work. Leave them on their mirror, wherever they keep their keys, etc.

Need some inspiration for what to write? Try these topics and examples!

  1. What physical trait of your partner do you love the most? – “I love the way your eyes shine when you laugh.”
  2. What personality trait or quirk of your partner do you love the most? – “I love the compassion you have for animals.”
  3. Reminisce a little about your favorite adventure together. – “Remember when we got lost in New York City and ended up at that little hole in the wall restaurant?”
  4. Talk about future plans – “I can’t wait until we go to the beach next weekend – just the two of us.”
  5. Suggest a date – “You, me, a fancy Italian restaurant, this Friday?” We can help you find some perfect date ideas, of course!
  6. Share your feelings – “Lately, I’ve been really anxious, and I’m so happy that you’re there to support me.”
  7. Share a dream for the future – “I can’t wait to celebrate our 10th anniversary!”

How to Connect When You Really Don’t Have Time for Date Night

You may be sick of hearing it by now, but having regular date nights with your partner is important for keeping up a healthy relationship. Going on unique, interesting date nights is even better. If you’re stumped or don’t have time to find the perfect date night activity, we’re always here to help.

However, today we wanted to share some tips on what to do if you really really don’t have time for a date night right now. Maybe you’ve just brought home a new member of the family (in which case, you should check out this book club series), or maybe you’re working some crazy-long hours. Whatever the case may be, there are some easy, simple ways to make sure your relationship doesn’t suffer in the process.

Take the Time to Talk

Make sure you and your partner aren’t just two ships passing in the night – establish some rituals around sitting down and chatting about what’s going on in your lives, even if just for a few moments. This may require some slight schedule changes, but it’s worth it. For instance, maybe you make sure to wake up and share a cup of coffee together, or to always sit at the same table for dinner. It tends to be easiest to establish this ritual around meals, but you could also do it right after you both get home from work or right before going to bed – whatever works for you.

Maintain a Physical Connection

Maybe one or both of you aren’t in the mood to jump into the bedroom right now – that’s okay, and pretty common when there’s a lot of stress in your life. However, it’s important to not literally physically distance yourself. Maintain a physical connection by holding hands, kissing hello and goodbye, cuddling, or whatever else makes you feel close to your partner.

Love Notes! (Or texts, or emails)

Written communication is perfect for partners who are having trouble finding time to be alone together. It’s asynchronous, so you can jot down your feelings (or just a funny anecdote from work) and send it off to your partner. When they have the time, they can read it and reply. Of course, we’re always fans of the traditional love note every once in awhile – if you and your partner work opposite shifts, try leaving it on their pillow to see when they get home. It can really brighten their day (or night!).

Clear Your Schedule – Every Once In Awhile

We know that this advice isn’t necessarily manageable for every couple, but we thought it was important to say: The world (and your career) likely won’t end if you say no to a late night every once in awhile, or don’t pick up that extra shift from a coworker. Your friends and family will understand if you skip an event or two to have some one on one time with your partner.  Yes, there are plenty of couples in circumstances where they really can’t just say “No, I can’t tonight, I have plans with my spouse” but you should take a minute and examine if you’re one of them. You may just find you have more time for date night than you thought!