We have been reading the book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson, the developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. Want to go back to the beginning of the series? Just click here.
We’re coming to the end of Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson! It’s been a great read, with tons of tips and tricks for having tough relationships and working through problems – and the final section is no different! It’s so full of great content, we decided to tackle it in 2 parts, which is how it’s divided in the book as well.
The first section is called Healing Traumatic Wounds – The Power of Love. This is a very powerful section. It discusses how the conversations throughout the book apply when one or both partners have been through a very traumatic experience. Though many of the conversations are applied similarly, seeing them discussed in context of one partner experiencing a trauma is very useful.
Dr. Sue Johnson states that “trauma is always a couples issue” – when one partner has trauma in their past, it almost always impacts the other partner in one way or another. The best thing to do is for the partner who experienced trauma to be open and honest about what they experienced, and how it’s currently impacting their lives. She mentioned that this is the opposite of how many people handle trauma – they prefer to keep it buried inside and not burden their partner. However, she cites a few studies showing that a willingness to discuss what the traumatized person is dealing with tends to lead to both stronger relationships and a stronger mental state for the traumatized.
The chapter is filled with scenarios and examples of couples facing all sorts of trauma, from assault to working in a dangerous job. We would definitely recommend taking a look if you or your partner has been through trauma, even if it doesn’t seem like it’s impacting your relationship now. It’s always worth having these coping skills in your back pocket!
Next week, we’ll be discussing part two of the final section of Hold Me Tight: The Power of Hold Me Tight. Stay tuned!