Book Club: When Two Become Three, Chapter 8

It’s time for the eighth chapter of When Two Become Three by Mark E. Crawford.  Miss out on the other chapters? Start at the beginning here.

 

Looks like we’re almost done with When Two Become Three! This is the third to last chapter, but it’s an important one. In this chapter, Mark E. Crawford discusses how having a baby can impact your relationships with your friends and family.

First, he tackles family – mostly focusing on the grandparents. He discusses the idea that not all grandparents may be as enamored or as involved with your child as you had pictured. They may simply not be baby people. If you find this bothering you, you may want to discuss it with them. However, he issues a few words of caution – for one thing, you should only confront your own set of parents. If it’s the in-laws that are a problem, leave it to your partner. Another caution he issues is that it likely won’t actually do much to change their behavior or feelings. He recommends not initiating such a conversation unless the act of discussing it will make you feel better, regardless of their response.

Of course, the flip side of this is grandparents who are too involved or controlling. Similarly, Crawford says that each member of the partnership should handle discussing things with their own parents. He says that stopping the controlling behavior of a grandparent can be as simple as reminding them that the child has two parents – and they have executive authority. If that is not respected, then it may be necessary to limit contact with that set of grandparents.

Crawford does take the time to remind readers that it’s important to understand the difference between advice and control. It is okay and healthy to listen to advice by outside parties – after all, they may have been through things like this before and learned a thing or two. Try not to get defensive when advice is offered.

The chapter then moves on to discussing how friendships will be impacted. Two types of friends are mentioned: those with children and those without.

You may find that you grow closer to your friends who already have children, and that’s great! It is important to have a support group around you who can offer the previously mentioned advice. However, it’s also important to remember that there are hundreds of parenting philosophies in the world, and just because you ascribe to one, does not mean your friends will ascribe to the same one. That is perfectly okay! You don’t need to see eye to eye on everything.

The book also discusses that your friendships with those without children will change. Now that you’ve welcomed a new member of your family, you may start to become a different person – and your friends without children may have a hard time understanding or accepting this. You may have even experienced this from the opposite side if you’re one of the last members of your friend group to have children. Try to be as empathetic as possible.

Overall, this is a really important chapter to check out if you’re concerned about potential, stereotypical in-law problems or if you have any concerns about maintaining your friendships!

Join us next week as we discuss Chapter 9: When Worlds Collide.

10 Conversation Starters for Long Term Relationships

You and your partner go out to dinner. The night starts off great – you talk a bit about what happened at work today, you discuss your kids or pets for a minute, maybe you mention a story one of your mutual friends told you. And then, right when the waiter has cleared away your appetizer, your conversation lulls and eventually completely stops. Has this ever happened to you?

It’s nothing to be ashamed or worried about – if you get the chance to spend a lot of time with your significant other, you probably also have a lot of time to talk about everything under the sun. You’re bound to run out of conversation topics occasionally!

Here are 10 suggestions to spark conversations in those moments. We’ve written them here in question format, but you could definitely bring them up in a less formal manner – for instance, for the first one, you could just say something like “You know, if I could swap places with anyone in the world, I think it would be a schoolteacher in Australia. What about you?”

  1. If you could swap places with anyone in the world for a day, who would you swap with? What would you do?
  2. If you had been given the chance to choose your name at age 7, what would you have chosen? What would you have chosen in college? What would you choose now? Why?
  3. What movie (or book or TV show) was about something completely different than you expected? What did you expect it to be about?
  4. If you could relive any experience for the first time, what would it be?
  5. If you could learn any skill in the world, what would it be? Bonus points: remember their answer and give them lessons in that skill as a future gift – or start looking up places right away and sign up together!
  6. Has anything paranormal (or paranormal-seeming) ever happened to you? What did you think? How did you react?
  7. What’s your earliest memory?
  8. What traditions did you have growing up that you want to continue with your family? Are there any ones you want to stop, or new ones you want to create?
  9. What season is your favorite? Why?
  10. If you could have a meal created by one celebrity chef, who would it be? What do you think they’d put on the menu?

Of course, a new and exciting date night activity can also help make sure you don’t run out of things to talk about. Not sure what to do with your partner? We’ve got you covered!

Our 3 Favorite Date Night Finds – April 16, 2018

As you can imagine, we spend a ton of time here at Crescent searching through countless venues and events, always on the lookout for the perfect date night (or day!) activity. We thought it might be fun to start sharing some of the team’s favorite finds on a weekly basis! Note that some of these finds may end up being events that have already passed.

Want us to find you the perfect date night? Get started here!

Northern California Cherry Blossom Festival – San Francisco, California
Website

If you’re a frequent follower of our blog, you may have seen our post about cherry blossom festivals being perfect date activities – and we still believe that! We’ve loved being able to recommend the Northern California Cherry Blossom Festival because it falls across two weekends in April (and there are events during the week too!). It’s always great to find a date activity that works with a lot of schedules!

Desert Botanical Garden – Phoenix, Arizona
Website

Can you tell we’re a little obsessed with outdoor activities this April? And why not? Spring is here and let’s celebrate it! There’s no better way to celebrate spring than to visit a local botanical garden. We love the Desert Botanical Garden in Arizona because they always seem to have a ton of special exhibits and events going on – if you’re in the area, take a look!

31 Supper Club – Ormond Beach, Florida
Website

A bit of a change of pace from our other two favorites. This dinner club focuses on a 30s vibe – down to the art deco decor. You can enjoy a delicious meal and live music and then retire to the outdoor bar. Can you say glamorous? This place is perfect paired with a more interactive activity or as a standalone date!

Didn’t see a place near you on the list? Don’t worry, we’ve got tons of ideas! Just click here to get started!

5 Pretty Pink Gifts

If your significant other loves the color pink, this guide is for you! Pink not their color? Don’t worry, we’ve been bouncing around the color spectrum – maybe green or purple is more up their alley. Or maybe they’d be interested in something space-themed or floral. No matter their taste, our gift guides have got you covered!

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Pop! Champagne Chocolates

Get your loved ones these glamours chocolates! Each type of piece is a different flavor – the bottle is white chocolate, the gemstones are milk chocolate, etc. You can find them at Maggie Louise Confections.

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Sunset Matinee Wallet

This beautiful leather wallet is sure to make a statement. It includes a ton of storage pockets, as well as a slender silver pen. Find it at the MOMA store.

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Luxury Bangle, Pink

Who could resist such a gorgeous bangle? Crystals in various of pink are set to create this unique ombre look, all set against a rose gold background. You can pick up this beautiful bangle at Swarovski.

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A22 Carry On

Want to get your significant other some luggage to complement the other travel gifts you got them? This is the perfect choice! This durable carry on even has a handle that doubles as a scale – never get charged for overweight bags again! Find it at Raden.

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Waterfall Flute

Help your loved one incorporate pink into their lives in the mos subtle of ways – through an beautiful fade on their glassware. This, and more options, available at Anthropologie.

Book Club: When Two Become Three, Chapter 7

It’s time for the seventh chapter of When Two Become Three by Mark E. Crawford.  Miss out on the other chapters? Start at the beginning here.

It likely comes as no surprise to anyone that having a baby can negatively impact a couple’s sex life. Sure, there are exceptions – and good for them – but generally, introducing a new child into the family can cause quite a bit of strain on the sexual relationship between partners. Mark E. Crawford takes some time to discuss the reasons behind this – fatigue from caring for a child, women having just gone through a difficult medical procedure, etc. Then, he shares some tips on how to keep the sexual relationship as alive as possible through the newborn phase (and beyond).

One area he particularly focuses on is about time. You’re more stretched for time once you have a new baby in the house. Your schedule is likely a lot more strained – and it’s supposed to be. Crawford reminds couples that it’s okay to try to schedule time for sex – and it may be a lot earlier than they’re used to. Sneaking away during the baby’s  Saturday afternoon nap? Nothing wrong with that!

Crawford also reminds couples that they may feel differently about the current sexual state of their relationship, and that they need to work together. Stereotypically, it will be the man in the relationship who will feel more sexually deprived. Crawford suggests that women keep an open mind, and open dialogue with their partners. He’s careful to say that women should not feel obligated to have sex every time their partner wants to, but recommends discussing how both partners can be satisfied – perhaps it’s agreeing to a schedule as mentioned above, or maybe the way that couples approach foreplay will need to change.

Speaking of foreplay, and open discussions, Crawford also emphasizes the need to rediscover nonsexual affection. Because affection can be misinterpreted as a sexual advance, it’s important for both partners to be communicative about their needs – perhaps saying something like “I’m not in the mood for sex tonight, but can we spend some time cuddling before bed?”

There’s some more great advice throughout the chapter, including tips on how women can feel sexually ready again after giving birth (because, let’s face it – it can be difficult). Definitely a must-read for any couple worried about this aspect of their relationship!

Join us next week as we discuss Chapter 8: Friends and Family.