It’s time for the third chapter of When Two Become Three by Mark E. Crawford. Miss out on the other chapters? Start at the beginning here.
You may already be aware that having a newborn in the house is stressful – whether you’ve seen it secondhand through relatives, or you’re experiencing it right now. Chapter Three is all about feeling that pressure.
Mark E. Crawford discusses the 3 major kinds of pressure that is put on new parents – physical, emotional and relational, and reassures new parents that it’s okay to be struggling with one or all three of these pressures. He even compares new parents to being an air traffic controller – needing to be hyper vigilant at all times!
As usual, Crawford gives a ton of great tips on how new parents can work together to make sure that the pressure doesn’t get to be too much, as well as how they can maintain a healthy marriage when facing all this pressure. We’ll discuss a few here:
Permission to Be Novices
There is no owner’s manual to raising a child. Even if you’ve seen your relatives and friends raise children, every scenario you face is going to be just a little different due to your child’s unique personality. Though you should obviously take all necessary safety precautions and do your best to act in the interest of your child, you should try to accept that sometimes things won’t go right – and it won’t be the end of the world when that happens. You’ll learn how to deal with whatever scenario baffled you previously, and move on.
Don’t Forgot to Date
Crawford reminds new parents that it’s important to take time to themselves as a couple once they feel comfortable enough to leave their child with a sitter or family member. He also reminds them that things are a little different than they were pre-baby – dates need to be planned and scheduled in advance, or else they simply won’t happen. Need help scheduling a fun date? We’re here for you.
Crawford also advises trying to go on double dates or group outings with other adults. It can be very beneficial to see your partner as more than “mom” or “dad” – they’re still the well-rounded adult you fell in love with and married. Interacting with other couples helps make sure you don’t fall into the trap of only discussing your children on dates, and gives you and your partner a chance to see each other in a different light.
Lean on Your Partner (and let yourself be leaned on)
When it comes down to it, you’re a partnership. Sometimes one of you is going to have a bad day and the other will need to step up. That’s okay – you’re in this together for a reason.
Thanks for joining us for this book club! Next week we’ll be covering Chapter Four: Dividing the Chores.