Chapter Two deals with Communication and Conflict. As you may remember from the last chapter, 92% of couples said they had more disagreements and conflict after their child arrives. There are a few reasons for this, and Mark E. Crawford delves into them – there’s more to disagree about, everything is more intense, and you’re both just pretty tired! Obviously, this is going to be a pretty important chapter.
One of the best parts of this chapter is that Crawford provides multiple examples of arguments he’s witnessed between his clients and breaks down where they fell into certain communication traps. Definitely worth checking out – you may recognize a fight you and your partner have had in there.
There are a few key lessons and takeaways from this chapter. We won’t go into all of them here, but some of the ones that stand out are:
Accept That Disagreements Will Happen
All couples disagree or stumble in communicating effectively at some point. The important thing is to move past the fact that you’re having a disagreement and work towards resolving it as best you can.
Some Problems Don’t Have Easy Solutions or Compromises
As King Solomon knows, there’s not always an easy compromise. When that happens, it’s important to recognize it and decide how to move forward. Crawford recommends figuring out who will have an easier time changing their behavior and who the issue is more important to. It’s not always perfect, but it can help quite a bit.
Work to Stay Connected on a Daily Basis
Doing little things to stay connected and keep positive associations with your partner can really help when conflict arises. Though it can be hard to go on a major date night when baby first arrives, it’s a good idea to work something like that into your routine as soon as possible. We can help! In the meantime, there are tons of things you can do to stay connected – little things like holding hands, kissing hello and goodbye and taking walks together.
Thanks for joining us for this book club! Next time, we’ll be covering Chapter 3: Handling Increased Pressure.